REVIEW: Toys R Us Exclusive Transformers Masterpiece Optimus Prime Version 2.0

"YOU GOT THE TOUCH! YOU GOT THE POWEEEEEER!!!

"YEAH!"

Aaaaah, yes. I've had a pretty badass birthday since my last post; I got to see almost every single person whose company I cherish at various intervals over the weekend, and some neat birfday schwag, to boot. Oh, and a fantastically rad tattoo by none other than Peter J. Larkin III. But I digress. I ran out on Wednesday, the last day of my vacation, to both my area Toys R' Us stores, looking for this bad boy. Mayfield yielded nothing (save three of the four "Classic Collection" Ninja Turtles, which I had to pass on--$22.99 a pop?! Really, TRU?), but there were three at the Mentor TRU, and I happily snagged this b-day present to myself, from myself.

I've always loved Transformers, specifically Optimus Prime. Until recently, when I started selling my various toys, I'd say a good 1/4 of my hundreds-strong Transformers collection were different incarnations of the big man himself, the John Wayne of Giant Robots, Optimus Fucking Prime. I'm not sure what contributes to Optimus' continued relevance, specifically-- the iconic design, the primary red-and-blue color scheme, the face plate-and-antennae head design... I could go on, but most of you know who OP is, and most of you who are familiar with OP prior to Michael Bay will probably remember his climactic showdown in Tranformers: The Movie, one of the corniest most awesome toy-to-cartoon productions ever made.

Some of you may be asking: "But Swift! Takara/Hasbro already made the ultimate Optimus Prime figure, like, ten years ago!" Well, ten years ago, you woulda been right. And while I no longer have the larger, heavier (and heavier on die-cast metal) version of OP, I'll try to have some comments about their differences.

Packaging: I usually don't comment about packaging, since I play with display my toys, but it's worth mentioning here for the simple reason that Japanese toys have completely spoiled me with their lack of stupid clear rubber bands and accursed twist ties. OP and his various accessories, while not being restrained by the terrible twisties, are held into place by NINE recycled-paper ties, which were quickly and efficiently removed with a small pair of wire cutters, an essential for any toy collector. The trailer was wrapped with a plastic band, which was a little harder to remove. Everything is displayed right up front in the packaging, and OP even has his chest cavity open to show off the Matrix of Leadership, which was "held" open by a clear rubber band looped over the doors and a plastic spacer wedged between them. Ugh, packaging. The Japanese really are more advanced than us.

The Good: OP is a fair size, and is about as tall as the Masterpiece Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime that came before him. Having said that, he towers over most other Transformers, while ending up a few inches shorter than his previous Masterpiece release. Missing from this version is a lot of die cast metal, and to me, this isn't a bad thing. Version 1 OP, while pretty spot-on to his cartoon and TF: The Movie appearance, was a little bit of pain in the ass to stand and balance, thanks to the unwieldy die cast metal used in his construction, mostly his legs. V.2 OP is lighter, less blocky in his construction, and an ease to pose and transform. Everything is made from a sturdy, quality plastic, except the hinge-and-arm assembly in the center of his torso that is pivotal (yuck yuck yuck) to his transformation. There's also some vac-metallized accents on the chest interior over the Matrix of Leadership door, the false truck grille that forms his abs, the smoke stacks on his shoulders, the two fuel tanks (those are fuel tanks, right? I always assumed they were) on his lower legs, and the various tabs and panels that fold around to form the truck's front in vehicle mode. Paint apps are minimal, which is a sticking point with me these days for Transformers, but on OP there's very little to do. What applications are here are done well, with no slop or fuzziness, and most of the figure is molded in the appropriate colors. The yellow on his "belt" is transparent, with nice little tech details molded underneath. In fact, there's very nice, detailed sculpting throughout on OP--nothing seems to be an afterthought, from the details on the Matrix cavity to the spare tire molded into the bottom of the trailer. Did I mention the trailer? Oh, we'll get there.

His accessories are all appropriate for this classic, iconic representation: he comes with his Ion Cannon, his Energon Axe, Roller, the Matrix of Leadership (which my perilously close-cropped fingernails cannot remove) and the trailer. The Trailer/Battle Station/Maintenance Dock is almost painstakingly recreated from the original 1984 toy, with much more intricate detailing and room for tiny little humans to dick around, I guess. And who are these puny humans who might dick around with advanced Cybertronian technology? Why Spike Witwicky, for one. A tiny little Spike figure is included and fits either inside the truck, at two of the stations inside the trailer, inside Roller or inside the Repair Drone, so there's plenty of options for Spike to be displayed. I probably won't, considering that I've always felt humans stink up Transformers in general, but he's a nice bonus.

The Ion Cannon seems a tad on the smallish side, but I think that has a lot to do with the massive (and mis-colored) one that came with V.1. This one, molded in the appropriate black color and highlighted with some silver, if you get past the smallishness, is a thing of beauty. It sits firmly in either hand thanks to a tab on the grip (unlike V.1), and actually transforms (!) to stow away in a central compartment on his back. The tab and lock system to get it to fold up is a little touchy, but once you click it into place, it fits nicely in his back and pops open with the push of a little gray button, ready for battle.

The Energon Axe is pretty much what we've seen before with re-releases of the original mold and in countless other media, and unlike the one that came with V.1, it fits snugly over OP's fist, rather than snapping onto his partially-transformed wrist stump. Again, it's a snug fit, and only fits over his right fist. It's larger than V.1's, and looks pretty menacing on the figure, which I like.

The Trailer holds Roller, who just kind of rattles around inside with no way to secure him. Roller himself is pretty ho-hum at first glance, which you would expect from previous versions of the little drone if you've owned just about any OP that comes with him. However, there are a couple of features that make him stand out, the first being the compartment that opens to accommodate the Ion Cannon. It's little things like this that really make this version shine over the multitudes of Optimus Primes released over the years. The second compartment opens and a whole chunk of Roller's back end flips around to reveal a trailer hitch so he can haul the thing while OP is busy being a badass in robot mode without his trailer. Very cool, and again, more options for display = higher praise from me. The Repair Drone inside is about what you would expect, much like Roller, and has the clamp arm (which is extremely well-articulated) and the little radar "dish" thing that can be raised up and spins. The trailer itself has two legs that swing out, and in doing so, lowers the landing skids automatically, and there are also two legs that swing down from the trailer's front to add more stability. Overall, it's a nice recreation of the original OP toy without being anything too spectacular.

The truck mode is, again, what you would expect from the classic 1984 model OP, but there are little things that make it stand out just a tad more than others-- the first being that OP finally has side mirrors that flip out from the windows, and accurate truck mirrors, at that. This simple feature and the fact that it made me excited probably says more about me than it does the toy, but he's got frickin' mirrors, for once! The trailer hitch is very nicely done-- there's nothing intrusive sticking out of OP's legs (they snap together to form the truck body, naturally) to get the hitch to work, and the two tabs on the trailer that snap onto OP are surprisingly strong.

There are all sorts of ratcheting joints going on with this figure, from the ones in the Repair Drone's support arm to the ones in OP's legs and knees. OP really is fun to pose, and the fact that he can stay posed in most cases is a HUGE plus. Unlike V.1, his arms are much lighter and stay (for the most part) where you put them, despite having no ratcheting joints in them. Everything seems nice and tight thanks to solid construction on Takara's (and Hasbro, too I guess) part.

Transformation: The process to change OP from robot to truck is much, much, MUCH less frustrating and time-consuming than his V.1 predecessor. I know the "difficulty level" American Transformers have been putting on their packaging for the last decade or so is usually a joke (meaning the toys were supposedly more "advanced" in their transformation the higher they were in price point), but to say that OP here is "advanced" is stretching it a bit. I looked at the instructions ONCE and was able to change him to truck and back to robot without consulting them further, which to me is how Transformers should be. Compared to other Masterpiece releases, OP is right up there in the "smooth transformation" category with Grimlock, and Grimmy was the best MP they made, until now. Nothing sticks or has to be forced, although there are some things that can get in the way if you try to get ahead of yourself. There are some panels and such that don't seem to want to "click" into place here and there, but it's minor overall. I mean, this isn't one of the movie TF's or anything where you have to worry about something snapping off or never working properly again unless you take everything in the same ritualistic order every time, but that does bring us to:

The Not So Good: I was going to put "The Bad," but so far I can't find a single thing on here that I honestly think is bad. Let's start with the panels that don't want to stay in place like they should-- the Cannon compartment on his back doesn't want to stay flush with the rest of him, leaving a small gap, which is annoying more than anything. The panels that fold around and become his robot shins, the right one, in particular, seem to need a little coaxing to lay flat against his leg, but that may just be on mine.

There's scratching on the top part of his torso, across the shoulders beside the head, but seeing as how the torso is molded in red (unlike V.1 and his die cast torso coated with red paint), it does very little to detract from or mar his overall look. The Ion Cannon, as mentioned, is a little touchy with its spring-loaded gimmick to fold and unfold, but you can always use the trailer's designated space for the rifle if it really bothers you. The only major complaint I can level at V.2 OP is the Energon Axe-- it's a two-piece assembly, the shaft that has the axe blade and the bulb that fits over his fist, and the shaft keeps popping off of mine and may require gluing. I also would have liked a different method to attach the axe-- having it be only for his right hand is a bummer. A small bummer, but a bummer nonetheless. Why can't he be ambidextrous with his melee-ing?

There are a few minor nits I will level at this figure in truck mode-- the first being that you can clearly see the back of OP's head through the windshield. It doesn't bother me, as I rarely display my TF's in their alternate modes (except Grimmy, but OP might be truckin' along in my display soon), but it does look odd to sit Spike next to Optimus' head inside the truck. If you turn him over in truck mode, the Matrix is clearly visible, which is a little silly, but if I remember correctly, V.1 had this or a similar problem, too. I honestly have nothing else negative to say about this toy, except...

Value: Optimus is going to set you back $99.99, if you manage to find him before the scalpers do at your local Toys R' Us. Now, to many of you (not those of you familiar with Transformers, I think, especially if you get into the 3rd-party figures), that may seem pretty steep. But to me, considering that the price for virtually the same toy, imported from its native Japan, is $299.99-- Optimus Prime here is a bloody good deal, and to my knowledge, this US version includes everything his pricier Japanese counterpart did. So at this price, I would say it's a pretty fair value for a larger, feature- and accessory-laden Transformer. No, he doesn't have the heft of his V.1 predecessor, but I don't think he needs it, or the light-up feature for the Matrix, as a matter of fact. There's no spring-loaded missiles, no electronics, and no annoying auto-transformation features (unless you count the rifle, which I don't). All you get is a good, solid, screen-accurate Optimus Prime toy that looks like the classic character, has tons of display options, won't make you want to throw it at the wall because you can't transform it, and won't fall over because all the die-cast in it makes it too goddamn heavy. Version 2, to me, has set the bar once again for what modern engineering can do for 30-odd year-old designs and has dethroned Version 1 as the ultimate OP toy. At least until they make another one next decade.

-Swift

Who Votes For These People?

November is looming like the Spectre of Fucking Death right now. Not that I go out of my way to watch a lot of "live" television, but it's already become quite obnoxious. The political ads are as scathing, underhanded and covered in muck and mire as ever. But as I age, and my views become more forward-thinking (I will avoid "liberal" and "conservative" here-- although I definitely lean left, it's only because the right is so far in their direction that to be in the middle would mean having a portrait of Reagan over my fireplace), I am baffled at the type of shit people in twenty-first century America can get away with saying. Take Todd Akin, for instance. If you haven't heard about his latest verbal abomination, I'll wait.

http://dailycurrant.com/2012/08/26/todd-akin-claims-breastmilk-cures-homosexuality/

Do these people listen to themselves speak? Or are they too busy trying not to choke on their own verbal diarrhea that they don't realize that there's stupid shit coming out of their mouths? It is absolutely unacceptable for a person in a first world country, in the twenty-first century, to feel okay to believe this shit and not be in need of psychiatric help, let alone hold a political office and be in the running for another! Why don't we just start stoning and burning people at the stake for being witches while we're at it?

It would be easy to attack Akin and his comments. But this raises a much larger question--

WHO VOTES FOR THESE PEOPLE?

It is a strong conviction of mine not to vote. I've heard all the arguments. "If you don't vote, you're part of the problem." "They win if you don't vote!" "It's your duty as an American to vote."

Bull. Fucking. Shit.

These politicians, no matter what their background, no matter what their platforms, their beliefs, their stances, their party affiliation-- are all figureheads and lickspittle for corporations. They are not looking after anyone's interests but the people who allow them to grow richer and keep fucking over everyone else. Your vote simply does not matter anymore, if it ever did. It makes a difference, sure, between Democrat and Republican-- but the shit that the rich fucks want to do will ultimately get through in some shape or form. It's like choosing a method of being raped (kind of funny to put it that way, given Akin's earlier idiocy)-- either the nice, kind of creepy guy who hangs out around the schoolyard and takes you out for Ice Cream and invites you over for video games a few times before it turns horrific, or the guy in the van who violently grabs the first kid to say yes, he would love some candy.

So what's the appeal, people? Do you feel that not voting would be wrong? I maintain that it is as much my right to abstain as it is for you to cast that empty ballot. And NOT voting, as a self-educated person in this age seems the least harmful action to me. Why encourage these fucks to continue doing what they do? The system is obviously and fundamentally broken. It simply cannot be fixed from within. It's no conspiracy. It's no left-wing propaganda. Look at what's transpired these past twenty or so years and see the murder these people are getting away with. Even if you ignore the money scandals, the banks destroying the housing market, Congress legalizing Insider Trading for themselves, the economy being stuck squarely at the bottom of some Chinese-made latrine-- you still have people running for public office who believe rape needs to be called anything other than rape, that a woman's uterus has anti-rape protection and her milk can "cure" homosexuality, evolution is a lie, and that magic underpants purchased from the church are a necessary expense, just to name a few.

And you may ask, "well what about you, then? What do you think would be a good solution?"

I wish I knew. But continuing to participate in a corrupt, exclusively two-party system (and don't get me started on voting for a third party, either. That's more of a waste than just staying home on election day) isn't going to solve anything. I don't have any great ideas that don't involve telling people how to live, and that is not the person I want to be. I don't know what's best for people. But voting for people who answer to corporate fucking twats and profess that they know what's best for me, for you, for America and the world-- that isn't for the best, is it? We can do better, as a culture, as a society, as a species, than this joke Democracy has turned into. These people don't want what's best for the individual. They want what they think is best. They want their agenda pushed, their religion taught, and anything other than their own way of thinking turned out and derided as nonsense, when they're the ones talking nonsense about invisible sky bullies who say how some people's way of life is a sin (ironically, on the news this evening ,they were talking about how Republicans spend far more money at strip clubs during their convention than Democrats) according to their ancient mythology. It's unconscionable, and truly, truly immoral. It's fucking nonsense, and as long as people keep voting, you're doing exactly what they want. They want their two-party system. They want everything black and white, clean cut, in nice little packages for us to consume in malnutritious bites, shallow rhetoric and empty promises.

Who profits? Because it sure as fuck isn't the people the politicians are supposedly sworn to represent. And as long as the broken system is in place, not a single person will be able to go inside without playing the same game and swallowing the same pills that the people currently in power already have. Politics leaves an indelible mark on anyone who enters the field. There's too much invested in the current system by far too many people for a few people or one person to make any fucking difference. Either you fall victim to playing the game and drinking the Kool-aid, or you find yourself entangled in a spider web of red tape that ties your hands from doing anything worthwhile.

I know most of you reading this will disagree that abstaining isn't a viable course of action, but do me a favor, come November: just think about not going that day. Do something else. Do something for yourself, for your friends and your family, instead of wasting your time in a High School gymnasium being waited on by idiot poll workers. Just think about it, for me, before casting that vote. And maybe, just maybe, try to come up with a better idea than I have.

-Swift

REVIEW: Square Enix Play Arts Kai Batman (Armored) and Harley Quinn

I'm back with another Play Arts review! This time, it's Batman (Armored) and Harley Quinn, the second set of figures from Square's Arkham Asylum figures. When I got the first two, Batman and the Joker, I was rather floored by the quality and poseability of both figures, but not so much the value ($60 apiece), moreso in the Joker's case. How do these two stack up? Well, let's see...

First off, a short "import horror story": I ordered these MONTHS ago. MONTHS. I had my regular Batman and the Joker. I wasn't going to get the armored Bats, but Harley was a sure thing. Then came pictures of the armored Batman and I bit the bullet on him, too, because the first two figures impressed me that much. So I finally get tired of waiting for BBTS to get their stock decide to order straight from Square's website. I received a shipping notice, and the day these were supposed to be on my doorstep, the tracking info said the FDA had to check out my package. Apparently the good ol' feds inspect packages from time to time for insects (especially packages from China), which had me waiting another week for my stuff. Frustrating, but I finally have them. I won't be ordering direct from them again, no matter how impatient I grow.

On to the figures!

I thought it only appropriate to do the "Iron Man" pose, since he's in armor. Looks pretty good, I think.

The Good: These figures look fantastic. Just fantastic! The sculpting, paint (for the most part) and detail are top-notch. The articulation, as always with Play Arts, is in fine working form here. All the clothing on Harley is fairly flexible and doesn't inhibit her movement at all, if you just have patience and fiddle around with it enough. Solid joint construction and the ratchets in the joints are all intact, and if you have the mind and patience, you can get them into almost any pose imaginable. The accessories this time, at least in Harley's case, are a little more significant than the Joker: She has a cane (Warden Sharp's cane from the game), an extra hand, and the gem of the accessories in the line thus far: Scarface painted up like the Joker. His arms and legs are articulated, and his head is on a ball joint, giving the lil fella a ton of personality. One of Harley's hands is sculpted into his back so she can "hold" him, but here's the best part: the same wrist joints on Harley are the ones on Joker, so Joker can use Scarface, too!

Batman is chock full of detailing on his armor, right down to the rivets and mesh detailing around the top of his legs (ya know, so it doesn't hinder his movement too much). There's a very harsh-edged looked to the design of his armor, and as you can see, it screams badass. As far as I can tell, there's very little, if any, re-use of parts from the first edition of Batman other than his cape and maybe his boots. It's an entirely different figure from the first release, making it worth owning if you're a hardcore Batman dork like me. He really is a fantastic figure, but there's a few things holding him back, which we'll get into after more pics...

 The Bad: Again, your mileage may vary on how good a value these two are. Even though Harley has a very cool accessory (Scarface), she still feels a tad light in that department. Batman, too, seems light on accessories: he comes with the single-claw Batclaw and a rehash of the batarang from the first release. He has an extra set of hands, but the left one in particular isn't that great:

 Either mine is messed up or the mold is, because the peg hole for the open left hand seems off-center, making his hand look wonky no matter how you pose it. The fist is fine, but for $60, I shouldn't have a bum hand that looks goofy and shows off that ball joint on his wrist horrifically.

The second issue I have with Batman is definitely a quality control one: his left pec joint (?) that allows forward movement at the shoulders, is stuck in place. It's not a dealbreaker by any means, but the fucking thing should move, and I've no idea how to unstick it. Worse, when I popped the arm out to investigate, a second piece came out along with the ball joint, which I had to glue back in place. I shouldn't have to un-stick or glue anything at this price point, Square. Get your shit together.

The other thing that keeps these down a bit are paint apps. For the most part, they are completely spot-on, with no slop or fuzz. But there's some issues with Harley's left boot and the dreaded paint rub has already struck again on her cane-holding hand. But these are minor issues, and it might just be my bad luck.

 I can without hesitation give a wholehearted recommendation for Harley. Her and the Joker look great together, and even though I'm not the greatest fan of her being tarted up in the games, the articulation and execution here make it a great (if whored-up) figure. Batman let me down, but it's mostly because of the stuck shoulder joint and the funky way his extra hand looks. You might have better luck.

Overall: While these look amazing, the price point and the quality control keep plaguing me from saying "BUY THESE NOW!" But having said that, there's a ton of product coming out of the Arkham Asylum/City franchise, and the Play Arts Kai figures are the best of the bunch. If you already have the first Batman, and aren't a gigantic Batman dork, you might be able to pass on Armored Bats. Harley, though, is a great figure and extremely fun to pose, especially with her cohort Mr. J. I'd give these a B+.

Check out a few more pics, and thanks for reading!

-Swift

The Dark Knight Rises: Some Thoughts

As most of you know, I love Batman. He's my favorite fictional character ever (suck it, Jesus). I love Christopher's Nolan's first two Batman films, although I have some qualms and quibbles about how he handles the character-- the fact that he grounded him so heavily in reality seems like a hindrance at times, but I understand why he did what he did to tell the Batman stories he wanted to tell.

Like some of you, like Nolan himself, I was left with a lot of questions and concerns about where a third film would take us after Heath Ledger's death. Should there be another movie? Would it stack up to the first two films? What about Harvey Dent?

I'm happy to say that The Dark Knight Rises is a fantastic movie, and a perfect ending to Nolan's trilogy. Not only that, but it makes Batman Begins a better movie in hindsight, tying everything together in a nice little package of Batman Awesomeness.

The Dark Knight left Batman as the fall guy for several murders, the most important being Harvey Dent's. For eight years, Bruce has secluded himself in Wayne Manor, not even leaving the house, leaning heavily on a cane. Dent's and Rachel Dawes' death have left Bruce broken, thinking he can sink no further.

Enter Bane. Tom Hardy's presence in this film is powerful, as powerful as Ledger's Joker but for different reasons. Like the Joker in The Dark Knight, Bane has a point to make. Unlike the Joker, who wanted to show that anyone is capable of madness and destruction given just the right push, Bane wants to rob Gotham of hope. He wants to show Bruce Wayne/Batman that he doesn't understand what being broken truly is. He wants to show the world that even their symbols can be broken.

Anne Hathaway plays Selina Kyle with relish. I had concerns about her in the role (and yes, the Julie Newmar-esque costume still looks really fucking stupid), but her performance sells it. The first time she meets Bruce, wearing his mother's pearls and kicking his cane out from under him to jump out the window, I was sold. She has a few good moments in the movie, and isn't wasted or an afterthought or given a stupid origin like Batman Returns, which was a huge relief.

Nolan wastes no time getting into the action or establishing any character's backgrounds; the recurring characters are known to the audience and the new ones are pretty easily figured out. No character is wasted, no scene runs too long, and it's all wonderfully realized in the end.

I'll save the detailed plot summary and just get into the things that really made this movie shine. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Gary Oldman as Gordon, showing that the lies told about Dent truly weigh upon him. Michael Caine, as always, the best Alfred ever. Liam Neeson's and Cillian Murphy's respective cameos. The last-minute plot twist.

Bane's fight with Batman mid-movie is brutal, and I'm surprised Nolan actually broke the Bat. Bane being kicked out of the League of Shadows was a nice touch, and having them square off--the star pupil who 'graduated' and rejected his mentor's mission, who surpassed his mentor and even brought about his death versus a man who came to finish what Ra's started-- was really cool to see. "Theatricality! Misdirection! Powerful tools to the uninitiated! But we are initiated..." Bane's handling in the movie was one of its many triumphs. The Joker gave Batman a psychological run for his money; Bane levels the playing field.

Honestly, the mid-movie reveal that Bane might be Ra's al Ghul's son almost lost me. For a moment there, I thought Nolan was doing something really fucking dumb and going all Spider-man 3 on us, but Marion Cotillard as Miranda Tate's last-minute heel turn saved it. If I had any harsh criticism to level at the film, it would be her character. I suppose the twist with her wouldn't have worked nearly as well if the general audience saw it coming, but I did. I'd heard the rumors that she was supposed to be Talia al Ghul and thought several times throughout the movie that it was only a rumor. Good on Nolan for keeping us guessing.

There are so many callbacks to Batman Begins that it's almost impossible to go into this one without having seen it recently. I'd recommend brushing up on at least Begins before heading to the multiplex for sure.

Nolan has crafted an excellent movie (he's never made a bad one, in my opinion) and set the bar very high for comic movies in the future, and that may not be a good thing. Although the tone is perfect for Batman, I fear too many movie studios will think every superhero has to be dark and gritty and grounded in realism. But I digress. What Nolan has done is take some of the best ideas from the Batman mythos and made them relevant to our times, and for many generations to come.

This is Nolan's answer to The Dark Knight Returns. A retired Batman has to come back, but not to fulfill his own selfish, facist asshole tendencies like Returns. Batman comes back because Gotham needs him to come back. Because Batman is necessary, as a symbol, to Gotham and to us, to prove that one person can make a difference and instill hope even when the world is literally crumbling around us.

Gotham always needs Batman. And John (Robin?) Blake may not immediately inherit the cape and cowl, as the last shot teases, but the nods to Grant Morrison's Batman, Incorporated are there and made this Batman fan smile. I keep thinking of Batman's words toward the end of The Dark Knight:

"Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded."

As a fan of both Batman and Christopher Nolan, I definitely feel like The Dark Knight Rises was a rewarding experience.

It goes without saying that I'm going to see it again. Cheers to Nolan and company for a great three films.

-Swift

REVIEW: Square Enix Play Arts Kai: God of War III Kratos

Hey kids! Been awhile since I put anything up, although the itch is there along with some ideas. Among them being a review of the first (or first few) episodes of the Black Dynamite cartoon as well as a review of The Dark Knight Rises after I see it at midnight tomorrow. But for now, let me talk about my latest acquisition: God of War III's Kratos from their Play Arts Kai line.

I LOVE me some God of War. One of the principle reasons for that is the uber-badass protagonist, Kratos, the limb-ripping, head decapitating, eye-gouging, deicidal maniac. If you've never heard of or seen the games, then I don't know how to sell the property to you. God of War is pretty much what the Clash of the Titans remake really, really wished it could be, with much cooler takes of Greek Mythology. But anyways-on to the figure.

If you read my Batman and Joker review, you know that I heaped a fair amount of praise on Square Enix for their efforts on the two. I'm happy to say that while Kratos doesn't evoke the sheer amount of "cool factor" as Batman and the Joker on looks alone, he's got the same attention to paint, sculpt, articulation and quality control as Bats and Mistah J. The character is very on-model to his game counterpart, and I have very few gripes from an aesthetic standpoint. Check out some more of my pics and we'll discuss after:

Here's how he stacks up to other releases, scale-wise:

The Good: Again, Kratos looks fucking rad on the shelf. He's very imposing and is spot-on for his game counterpart. His "tattoos", scars, armor (the Golden Fleece, bitches!) and weaponry are all fantastic-looking and painted very nicely. The Blades of Exile are especially nice, and subtle paint applications like air-brushing and dry-brushing really make them pop and look more realistic and less toy-like. A very nice touch that I felt they didn't have to include are two fine lengths of chain that plug into his wrists (where you'll also notice sculpted chains) and the Blades of Exile or the Claws of Hades. Both sets of weapons fit very nicely into his grip hands, and it's also not too huge of a pain to have them hang from his open hands like he's about to flail them at someone.

The articulation is exactly what I expected and why I ordered him in the first place. The joints are tight, some ratcheting, and hold just about any pose you put him in. He's also very easy to stand, even in what seem like precarious poses.

One point of contention I've read among fans is his face: some say it's too passive an expression and the dark grey air-brushing looks bad. I disagree. While the airbrushing is a little distracting, it is present on other areas of the figure's skin. It could be a little more consistent and not as prominent, but if you played the games, do you ever remember a point where Kratos stopped to wash his dirty ass? Me either.

As for the expression, I don't think "passive" describes it at all. Kratos is a character who, while driven by his rage and desire for revenge, seems very resigned to his lot. Yes, he's a pissed-off character, but it doesn't have to show all the time. Neutral would be a better word for his expression, and I prefer neutral sculpts as opposed to the full-on "rage dump" face that permeates far too many comics and action figures these days. I'd rather have Kratos look likes he's quietly sizing up his opponent and merely seeing them as an obstacle in the way of his ultimate goal to kill his father, Zeus.

Kratos comes with two sets of hands: gripping and open, slightly gesturing ones. Along with the chains for the aforementioned Blades or Claws, there's an ash-white peg that fits through both sets of weapons and plugs into the center of his back for storage, another detail that didn't have to be included.

He set me back about $60 plus shipping, same as Bats and Joker. I feel like he's a better deal than the Joker, who was light on accessories, but both Joker and Batman are smaller than Kratos, as you can see above, so I'd say he's about on par for Batman value-wise.

The Bad: Like the Dante figure from Devil May Cry 4, Kratos suffers pretty easily in places from paint rub. On his right gauntlet, which you might notice in a few of the pics before fixed with a sharpie, there's a spot where paint just rubbed off, exposing the ash-white plastic underneath. Yes, it was easy to fix it with the sharpie and it's now barely noticeable, but I shouldn't have to fix stuff like that. You hear me, Square? find better paint that adheres to your plastic, goddammit.

The chains are, again, very fine, and I already had to fix a link with some needle-nose pliers while fiddling with him to take pictures, so be mindful of that when handling.

I suppose I should mention the face sculpt, since I appear to be in the minority. If you want him looking angrier or like he's taking a shit, this is not the Kratos for you. But if you're like me, and hate overexaggerated constipation-shit faces, then it probably won't bother you as much if at all.

Kratos is a great addition to the Play Arts Kai line, and a great toy to boot. I'm looking forward to more from Square Enix, specifically the Armored Batman and Harley Quinn from Arkham Asylum (and yet another Batman, Robin and Catwoman from Arkham City) and Vergil from Devil May Cry 3, my favorite entry (and character) from that series. Here's hoping that their quality control improves (paint rub), although they haven't got far before they're damn near perfect.

That's all for now, kids. I should be back (hopefully Friday) with my The Dark Knight Rises review. Till then- smoke 'em if you've got 'em. The rest of my vacation calls. Meanwhile, the Dark Knight may have met his match on the shelf...

-Swift