Friday, August 23, 2013

An Open Letter To Ben Affleck And Warner Bros/DC Entertainment

Dear Ben,

I have nothing personal against you. You're not as bad as some would try to say you are, and you were, after all, the bomb in Phantoms. But have you forgotten so quickly how forgettable (at best) Daredevil was? It wasn't terrible, and you weren't horrible in it, but it wasn't good. In the halcyon days of the early two thousands, when X-Men had just made a buck at the box office, we didn't know things could be better, and neither did you or any of the filmmakers.

But we're living in a post-Avengers world. The Avengers was a superhero-movie game-changer. Marvel has let people who really understand their material work for them, and they respect those of us who've followed their characters' exploits for most of our lives.

DC doesn't get it. All they care about is making a buck with their characters, and it shows in their recent, non-Batman/Superman endeavors. You being cast as Batman is the straw that broke the camel's back for me. These corporate assholes are just trying to milk every ounce of scratch they can out of their glorified, spandex-clad mascots.

So if you have any integrity left in you, sir, I ask that you please find something else to do. You're coming into your own as a director-- The Town was at least interesting until I fell asleep after the first hour, and I hear this Argo flick was okay. Bow out. Do something else that will make you a ton of money and tell them to fuck off. Let someone--anyone, other than you-- don the cape and cowl and inspire another generation of children to do good. Please.

To Warner Brothers and DC Entertainment:

Fuck you people. First, you let a hackneyed, past-his-expiration-date artist and an upcoming writer sweep EVERYTHING I've loved about your comics since Crisis On Infinite Earths under the rug. Because of that, there's no support from you on such endeavor's as Mattel's "Classic" superhero toy line, and there will be no subscription service for those figures next year.

You idiots are drooling over all the money a Justice League movie will make, going so far to skip a second movie in the Man of Steel franchise just to throw Batman in the mix prematurely. I for one am not going to stand for it. I will not pay to see Batman vs. Superman or whatever shit you're calling it with Ben Affleck in it as Batman.

Dan Didio, Geoff Johns and Jim Lee can suck rose-thorned cocks in hell.

Ben-- I hope you hear the fans out, because WB isn't listening. Say hi to Damon for me, wouldja?

-Swift

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