With an NFL lockout and shenanigans regarding collective bargaining in Wisconsin and Ohio, it got me thinking about how fucked up it is that we pay people millions of dollars to play a game (and yet they still want MORE) while our public workers have to fight tooth and nail to keep what little they have.
I won't go into the injustice of it all, but I will mock sports in general for having all these issues with how much to pay their players and the frequent steroid scandals that come up while they preach on and on about upholding the purity of the game.
Purity of the sport, purity of the game, keeping thinks on an even keel-- that all went out the window a long time ago when sports teams began getting players according to the highest bidder. It's laughable that they always talk about this fair play nonsense when it comes to steroids and performance enhancement when we all know the teams that have the most are going to pay the best players the most money. How is that fair?
I find sports inane in general. I don't care to watch glorified frat boys get paid to play a fucking game, the result of which has absolutely no bearing on my life. If you're into sports, good for you. But you have to admit how silly it all is, when you boil it down: grown men, whose sole occupation is to play a fucking game.
These people get paid obscene amounts of money to entertain us, and yet they keep them from 'enhancing' their performance through steroid bans and pussify their own sports with rule changes that protect their investments (read: players). Really? The only thing that holds my interest during an NFL game is the possibility that some big cocksucker might lay out a running back and fold him up like a goddamn accordion! Fuck these people!
Let quarterbacks get drilled right after they call hike. Let 'em take a fuckin' chance and actually earn their money! Let these guys take steroids and shrivel their balls into raisins. I don't fucking care about any of these assholes who skated through their education just because they could throw a ball, and neither should you.
I'd be into sports if they focused more on the violent, physically-debilitating injuries that can result from engaging in their all-important game. If I was guaranteed that at least once a season I'd get to see some douche have his leg broken in two or three places because he couldn't get away from Mongo fast enough, I'd be a sports fan for sure. I'd tune in as much as possible and watch Sportscenter just to see the instant replay again and again.
I'll take it a step further in advocating steroid use and just about any other substances they wanna pump themselves full of: I want more enhancements allowed. I want some of that crazy prosthetic technology put to the test and ramped up to almost lethal levels: I'm talking about a pitcher throwing a 200 MPH ball with his newly-minted cybernetic arm and the giant batter with his spine and arms replaced hitting back so hard it breaks the sound barrier!
You wanna talk about protecting your investment? Let these corporate criminal pricks who own all the teams and players find a way to write off these unnecessary surgical procedures like you would new floors on your house. Sounds silly, doesn't it? But the reality is that our society right now is not far from this type of thinking. It's kind of sad to think about how the team owners already consider human beings as assets to their business.
So let these idiots enhance away, I say. Fair play in the real world is on short supply, so why not in sport? Just stop kidding yourselves, team owners. We know you're dishonest and lacking in morals; we won't think less of you for admitting it publicly, I promise. Just get back to me on my proposal, wouldja? You'd be in on the ground floor of all that Ghost In the Shell and Blade Runner science and at the same time gain a sports fan the first time somebody shatters their collarbone because they went for the low tackle on a player whose legs were replaced with titanium hyperspeed appendages.
All right, enough for now. Hope to update with some stuff (and pictures!) of the trip to Pittsburgh. Later, kids!
-Swift
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