Wednesday, November 14, 2012

People Are Still Stupid

So with all the dumbfuck political hubbub surrounding this election dying down, now we have the ignorant bellyaching portion of this race to contend with. It seems that people in twenty states have gotten together and petitioned the White House (on their website) to secede from the United States. There's a lot I could say about this from an atheist standpoint. There's a lot I could say from a liberal standpoint. But shall we approach this from the standpoint of realistic logic? Let's give it a go, shall we?

I get that you fucking morons are all butthurt that your magic-underpants-wearing criminal cocksucker didn't win. I get that most of you are too busy calling Obama "nagger" with your ignorant, lazy slacked jaws to come up with ONE significant reason why you think you no longer want to be part of this country. What I don't get, is how any of you idiots thought secession through for longer than two seconds and said, "Hey, this here's a great idear! A-hyuck!"

Do you have any idea what it would take to turn your state into a small country? That you would have to form your own system of government? That you would likely NOT receive the support of most of the people already in office, who have far too much at stake to start with a clean slate?

For the sake of argument, let's say you went through with this and your state officials all went along with it. You would still need to set up:

-Military

-Law Enforcement and Emergency Response Services

-Legislature for, well, EVERYTHING (including a new constitution/declaration of independence etc.)

-An import/export system for resources (which is doubtful, given that many of you twats either don't give a shit that jobs have been shipped overseas by people like Mitt "My god lives on planet Kolub" Romney and that you probably have very few resources that aren't already obtained from overseas by the rest of the country), which includes gasoline, electricity, consumer goods, and fresh water

-Currency (this one gets me the most. Say these people have money. Are they willing to spend it toward secession? I doubt it.)

I'm assuming many of you think Obama is a Muslim and that all our problems would be fixed if the rest of us heathens just gave our fate over to Jesus. Well guess what? By your logic, everything that happens is god's will. So if the election results are indicative of that, it means, at the very least, your god has abandoned you and you're doing something very, very wrong. Like judging people for their sexual orientation (not a choice) or their use of marijuana (which is a choice, but becoming a necessity to keep my wits and my calm undamaged in the face of ignorance).

Let me propose something to you: if you really believe we have lost our way, if you truly think this is not what your invisible man in the clouds wants for us, if you believe, with all your heart and mind, that there is a god and an afterlife that is better than this wonderful, beautiful planet we are lucky enough to experience with language, art, music, food, friends, family, love, television, movies, video games, cell phones, internet connections and founts of information at the touch of a finger-- just kill yourself and go meet this Jesus fella you're so fucking keen on. If we're wrong, you'll be able to gloat from the afterlife as the rest of us dwindle and descend into hell.

So fall on a knife, walk out into traffic, sit down on some railroad tracks. Drink some drain-o, jump off a cliff, let Jesus take the wheel on some abandoned stretch of highway when no other cars are around. Dive in the nearest body of water and take a nice lungful of it until your dumb bloated ass sinks to the bottom.

The world will be no poorer without you or your ignorant temper tantrums in it.

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