I wanted very badly to write a review for this movie after seeing it with my stepson. And then the jaded, geek vitriol poured in, like a sort of irritating version of the old Nickelodeon slime, all over my parade. I loved the movie, despite my own criticisms, despite my own personal cynicism toward Hollywood's handling of Superman in the past and my doubts over Christopher Nolan's "real-world" approach to superheroes being applied to the Big Blue Boy Scout. The stepson's review? "It was really, really, AWESOME!"
Having said all of that, I am endeavoring to put forth several things that the movie got right, whether you were just not "wowed" by it, or even if you hated it with a passion.
Here goes:
5. Russell Crowe as Jor-El
I'm not a huge Russell Crowe fan. In fact, I think the guy is a bit of a jag-off. But lately, his work has been impressing me. As Jack Knife in The Man With the Iron Fists, he showed me that he doesn't necessarily take himself very seriously, and as an actor (and not a complete out-of-the-closet crazy person, like Tom Cruise), that goes a long way for me. And while Mr. Crowe was certainly putting his serious face on for most of the film, he did a very good job grounding the prologue, and, for the first time in a long time (as a lifelong reader of Superman), made me give a shit about Krypton. Most times when they retell the origin, I can't wait to get the fuck off Krypton and get to Superman being Superman. Here, because of Jor-El, I was invested in his story, cryptic Codex MacGuffins aside. And who knew that Superman's dad was a badass? Not too many of us, I'm sure. But I'm glad that I know now.
4. The Production Design
Another thing that really helped with how much I liked the Krypton prologue was the design of everything. It felt alien, but not overdone. Ornate, but not impractical. The armor, the weaponry, the robes that the science council wore, the spaceships-- it all looked pretty fantastic. Because of things like this and even the set up of the ho-hum "normal" Earth, it was a nice movie from a visual standpoint. Last but certainly not least, Superman's costume is excellent. Yes, I still decry the red trunks (from my artist's standpoint Supes just looks odd with so much blue going on; the breakup of the colors is mostly what I miss), but I understand why they did away with them. The texture, the duller colors looking brighter in spots due to the metallic sheen-- it all looked fantastic. Add to that the way the cape attaches to the costume and the open neck, the exact opposite of what they've done with his costume in the comics, and I am one happy geek as far as this new Superman's duds. All of which would be meaningless, if they hadn't found the right cat to fill said suit, but...
3. Henry Caville As Superman-- And A MANLY Superman, At That
Caville had the right stature and presence for this role. If there's one thing on this list even the most hardcore of detractors can agree on, it's this. Caville looks the part, fills out the suit, and sounded American enough for me (he's British). But what really won me over, as stupid as it sounds, is that unlike most film stars these days, specifically super-hero movie stars, is the "manliness" Caville brought to Clark/Superman. No waxed chest hairs here-- Superman is a hairy bastard just like all those John Byrne-drawn comics from the 80's. You could even see the chest hair poking out of his suit, and whether or not that detail was intentional, I dig it, especially in a world of hairless James Bonds and Bruce Waynes. Caville sealed the deal here, and without him, not much of the movie would have worked as well as it did.
2. Michael Shannon As General Zod
Some people said he was boring, others probably wanted a re-hash of Terrence Stamp's take. For what Shannon did with Zod, I'll take it for what it is and congratulate him on a job well done. Cheers, Mr. Shannon! You've made me hate you on Boardwalk Empire and given us our first memorable Superman movie villain in decades. The man is a zealot, and Shannon relishing in that zeal is what made Zod great in Man Of Steel, and what continues to make him great on Empire. True villains always think what they're doing is right.
1. Hans Zimmer's Score
Many of us Superman fans immediately associate the character with John Williams' theme from the late seventies, and it's hard not to. While the Donner Superman theme will be a part of the geek consciousness for many generations to come, Zimmer's score is uplifting, tense when it needs to be, and overall, modern. There's no questioning that this score could be confused with a movie made ten years ago. It is unique, and still stuck in my head as I write this (which could be the fact that I'm listening to the Youtube video of the entire score as I write this, but still). It sets itself apart from Williams' and even Shirley Walker's score from Superman: The Animated Series while still identifying itself as Superman music. It's a great piece of work, and sticks with me even more than the work he did for The Dark Knight Trilogy.
So there it is, kids. Agree? Disagree? Lemme know what you think.
Cheers,
Swift
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Shut The Fuck Up About The Pope
Yesterday (and today so far, at least on reddit), he of the ridiculous hats and fancy dresses, Pope Francis I (insert snicker and apology to all decent people named "Francis" here), claimed that all of us are "god's children" and that we are all "redeemed," "even the atheists."
I've been mulling this around in my head for the last eighteen hours or so, and I'm still a bit confused. I've bitched about it on facebook, I've bitched about it to my lovely missus. The missus asked me why I cared what this man thinks or says. I'll get back to that.
This morning on reddit, there were several links to more quotes from Sir Papal-Lapa-Ding-Dong (thanks for that to Katy Farrell) referencing that as long as atheists "do good," we can meet somewhere in the middle. This is more confusing, and angering. I'm not going to try and speak for all atheists out there, but I will speak for myself when I say that any sort of statement made by the pope toward unifying us as a species, while superficially commendable, is shallow and hollow and really fucking condescending.
To me, this implies that we weren't 'doing good' up until recently. Now, I'm not sure what kind of social and cultural impact my life has on this web of shit, or exactly what he considers to be "good"-- but I'm pretty sure I haven't been harming anyone while I've been living my godless life. I don't kick puppies. I don't steal, I don't kill (unless insects and arachnids count. And they do not.), and I try, some days harder than others, to not be an asshole. I love my stepson like he was my own (that's something Jesus would do, right?), something some other people of other denominations have failed to do for generations. So while I don't consider myself a do-gooder (I rarely donate to charities, I don't work in soup kitchens, etc.), I'm not doing anything bad, so why the fuck would you zero in and actually say the word "atheist?"
You're not going to convert anyone, Franny. What you're going to do is confuse and earn the ire of atheists worldwide for even mentioning us specifically. And this notion that we have to "do good" to get along, while it's a nice sentiment, you're still blowing papal smoke up our asses. We should not have to do anything to make our existence acceptable to your dubious authority, you arrogant prick. Because while many of us non-believers go about living our godless lives harmlessly, you, the figurehead of one of the richest religious organizations in the world, still oppose gay marriage and abortion and making contraceptives readily available.
I started to research before writing this, just to see what other bullshit opinions you have about things, but you know what? Those three things alone, be they catholic church line-towing or not, are some of the most evil things I can think of this day and age. To oppose a biological predisposition to sexual identity, to oppose the option to have an abortion and the social and psychological ramifications of such, to tell people it's immoral to use condoms or birth control of any sort is horrible and wrong.
So for you, oh high priest of the uninformed, to come at me from this moral high ground, as if we need to do more to earn some sort of acceptance, is kind of fucked up.
I reject this notion that we can all work together to make a better world until you catch up with the good we do by simply not opposing things that are basic human rights. You have no high ground to preach from, Franny. You don't. I would almost go so far as to say that atheists do more good by their inaction and vocal support of gays, abortion, and contraception than you do by running off at the mouth with these hollow platitudes about how we all need to come together. While I won't deny that there is good to be found in the catholic church, and that as a species we need to come together to further ourselves and this planet, it isn't the non-believers who need to catch up and do good: it's you. You have a responsibility, if you take anything about your job seriously, to do more good. And you can start by catching up to reality with your views on gays and abortion and contraception.
So: why do I care what an old man in a dress says? Because other people do. Other people believe this man has authority, and structure their opinions and beliefs based upon what he says. While this has no direct effect on me, it effects millions of catholics around the world, and holds us back as a species just as much as any other religion promoting hatred and oppression and limiting freedoms because your book of fairy tales says it was wrong, regardless of how science says different or how social attitudes have changed in two thousand years. It's realistically and morally irresponsible.
I'll meet in the middle when you and your organization come to terms with the world we are living in and stop promoting ideals that restrict and harm people who only want to live their lives. And if that day comes, I will still make fun of your ridiculous fucking hat.
Cheers.
-Swift
I've been mulling this around in my head for the last eighteen hours or so, and I'm still a bit confused. I've bitched about it on facebook, I've bitched about it to my lovely missus. The missus asked me why I cared what this man thinks or says. I'll get back to that.
This morning on reddit, there were several links to more quotes from Sir Papal-Lapa-Ding-Dong (thanks for that to Katy Farrell) referencing that as long as atheists "do good," we can meet somewhere in the middle. This is more confusing, and angering. I'm not going to try and speak for all atheists out there, but I will speak for myself when I say that any sort of statement made by the pope toward unifying us as a species, while superficially commendable, is shallow and hollow and really fucking condescending.
To me, this implies that we weren't 'doing good' up until recently. Now, I'm not sure what kind of social and cultural impact my life has on this web of shit, or exactly what he considers to be "good"-- but I'm pretty sure I haven't been harming anyone while I've been living my godless life. I don't kick puppies. I don't steal, I don't kill (unless insects and arachnids count. And they do not.), and I try, some days harder than others, to not be an asshole. I love my stepson like he was my own (that's something Jesus would do, right?), something some other people of other denominations have failed to do for generations. So while I don't consider myself a do-gooder (I rarely donate to charities, I don't work in soup kitchens, etc.), I'm not doing anything bad, so why the fuck would you zero in and actually say the word "atheist?"
You're not going to convert anyone, Franny. What you're going to do is confuse and earn the ire of atheists worldwide for even mentioning us specifically. And this notion that we have to "do good" to get along, while it's a nice sentiment, you're still blowing papal smoke up our asses. We should not have to do anything to make our existence acceptable to your dubious authority, you arrogant prick. Because while many of us non-believers go about living our godless lives harmlessly, you, the figurehead of one of the richest religious organizations in the world, still oppose gay marriage and abortion and making contraceptives readily available.
I started to research before writing this, just to see what other bullshit opinions you have about things, but you know what? Those three things alone, be they catholic church line-towing or not, are some of the most evil things I can think of this day and age. To oppose a biological predisposition to sexual identity, to oppose the option to have an abortion and the social and psychological ramifications of such, to tell people it's immoral to use condoms or birth control of any sort is horrible and wrong.
So for you, oh high priest of the uninformed, to come at me from this moral high ground, as if we need to do more to earn some sort of acceptance, is kind of fucked up.
I reject this notion that we can all work together to make a better world until you catch up with the good we do by simply not opposing things that are basic human rights. You have no high ground to preach from, Franny. You don't. I would almost go so far as to say that atheists do more good by their inaction and vocal support of gays, abortion, and contraception than you do by running off at the mouth with these hollow platitudes about how we all need to come together. While I won't deny that there is good to be found in the catholic church, and that as a species we need to come together to further ourselves and this planet, it isn't the non-believers who need to catch up and do good: it's you. You have a responsibility, if you take anything about your job seriously, to do more good. And you can start by catching up to reality with your views on gays and abortion and contraception.
So: why do I care what an old man in a dress says? Because other people do. Other people believe this man has authority, and structure their opinions and beliefs based upon what he says. While this has no direct effect on me, it effects millions of catholics around the world, and holds us back as a species just as much as any other religion promoting hatred and oppression and limiting freedoms because your book of fairy tales says it was wrong, regardless of how science says different or how social attitudes have changed in two thousand years. It's realistically and morally irresponsible.
I'll meet in the middle when you and your organization come to terms with the world we are living in and stop promoting ideals that restrict and harm people who only want to live their lives. And if that day comes, I will still make fun of your ridiculous fucking hat.
Cheers.
-Swift
Friday, February 8, 2013
Justice League: The Movie-- You're Doing It Wrong
With all the hubbub this past year surrounding Marvel's The Avengers, Warner Bros. has been greedily licking their chops and drooling all over their fancy corporate suits at the money to be made with a superhero team movie. And from their standpoint, I can't find fault with their logic: they are, after all, in the business to make money. But as far as coming close to something as commercially and critically successful as Avengers, after the failure of Green Lantern and WB's utter failure at getting some of their other superheroes off the page to the screen, there's a ton of work to be done.
So, in case anybody gives a shit, let me say that Justice League should NOT happen, unless they throw out EVERYTHING they've already done (which it looks like they have, so far), and go smaller. Not too small, mind you; this is a team of variously-powered god-like beings, and getting them together will take more than just a team-up of mob guys from Gotham and Intergang from Metropolis to stoke the fires of the superteam.
The following are my suggestions for how to get this whole shebang underway, WITHOUT blowing their load too early with intergalactic villainy or establishing a huge villain team-ups with too many characters. Whether or not they want to establish these heroes individually beforehand, like Marvel did, is moot.
1. Don't Use Darkseid
Darkseid is a great villain. He was created by Jack "King" Kirby, along with the rest of the Fourth World and the New Gods. Having said that, Darkseid is a horrible choice to throw into the mix for your first outing with the Justice League.
This is one of the main reasons the New 52 Relaunch of the Justice League was so terrible. Darkseid can have a polarizing effect on all our do-gooders, sure. But to blow your load with DC Comics' ultimate otherworldly baddie right out of the gate? Dumb. Fucking idiotically dumb, really. It's how I felt about using Parallax in Green Lantern: the reason Parallax was so powerful in the comics-- and why his retcon into being the living embodiment of fear that possessed Hal Jordan was so well-received-- was because it was a retcon that fit and redeemed a character who was pretty fucked over to begin with thanks to trends in the nineties. Parallax was an ok movie monster, but to undermine his importance to the current mythos and introduce him to moviegoers who don't give a flying fuck about comics was weak. Darkseid would face a similar problem. Most folks don't know who he is, and he would come off as pretty generic with no buildup to how much of a badass he is. Take into account that Darkseid is very similar to Marvel's Thanos, and you would merely confuse your audience and make them think you're ripping Marvel off, when they get to Thanos in the inevitable Avengers sequel(s).
Darkseid is a character that you need to build up to make a believable threat. If you were to use him right away, and your heroes somehow came together, never knowing each other before a 2, 2 1/2 hour runtime to defeat him, it would come off as forced and anticlimactic, at best. Ya know, just like that sixth issue of the New 52 Justice League. And story incongruousness aside, where the fuck would you go from there? Being the Baddest of the Bad amongst DC villainy, what would you do for a sequel, if your movie is successful?
There are plenty of other villains in DC's long history to play around with on screen. If you're going to use Darkseid, don't do it first. You risk putting the cart in front of the horse that way. Slowly build toward him, if you absolutely HAVE to use him, like they're doing with Thanos. Otherwise, let's leave him out of the equation, shall we?
2. Don't Use Joe Levitt As Batman
If you have any fucking sense at all, Warner Bros., you will keep Justice League's version of Batman far, far, FAR away from Christopher Nolan's vision of the Dark Knight. I understand that you want a familiar face for your audience, and I'm sure JGL would do great as the Caped Crusader, but here's the thing: this is Goddamned BATMAN we're talking about. Other than Superman and Spider-man, Batman is the most recognizable superhero in THE WORLD. We all know who he is and what his fucking deal is. Do not waste your money or your moviegoers time with re-establishing Batman's deal in this movie. Cast someone with the stature and physicality and whose chin looks flattering poking out of that cowl, and just give us fucking Batman kicking ass in Gotham and discovering the pending crisis that will bring our heroes together has come to his doorstep. Batman should be the first to catch on to whatever is going on and a reluctant participant in the team effort to stop it. We don't need to see Bruce Wayne in this movie at all, you hear? BATMAN is important to the Justice League, and the actor portraying him should not be seen without the mask, period.
3. Have A Decent Script
This should go without saying, but the fact that this project in various iterations has been floundering since AT LEAST 2007 does not instill confidence. You have to make sure the script is decent before you do ANYTHING else. No green-light, no casting, no costuming, no storyboards, NOTHING should be done until you have a script that isn't complete and utter shit.
There are plenty of (good) stories about the League's formation that a halfway decent scriptwriter can look at for inspiration that don't involve fucking Darkseid or our heroes acting like complete assholes (well, except Batman. Batman is allowed to be a dick, at least at first).
My suggestion? When JLA was launched in the late 90's, a version of Starro the Conquerer was used that had facehugger-like drones to enslave Earth's population. Something like this would be a great way to get the team together, without relying on an Apokalyptik threat like Darkseid.
Perhaps it would be best to show that Superman and Batman already know each other, or the camaraderie between Flash and Green Lantern. We don't have to show everyone meeting for the first time; history can be easily explained with several lines of dialogue. You'll save time building character relationships by showing that some team members already have friendships, or at least have met in the past. Even if you use only five characters, as the most recent reports said, you're going to have one hell of a time giving everyone something to do (let alone developing characters) without solo movies to establish figures like Wonder Woman, Aquaman and the Flash. So go light with the exposition on Superman and Batman, and have fun with the down-to-earth Flash and the culturally inept Aquaman and Wonder Woman. Don't beat us over the head with Supes and Bats shenanigans; your audience already knows who they are, and so should the characters in your movie. If you're going to do this shit backwards (i.e. the reverse of Marvel's model), give the other characters time to shine to drive up interest in the solo movies that can follow Justice League.
Oh, and please, for the love of Kirby, try to steer clear of thoseclassic cliched "we're superheroes who have never met, and through some inexplicable misunderstanding, have to fight each other before we can team up!" moments. It worked for decades in the comics, but with these characters? Plus, they already did that in Avengers, which leads me to my next point.
4. Don't Try To Copy Marvel
I know you soulless corporate bastards want that Avengers money so bad you can taste it. But if you want to make money on it, you can't cheapen this brand or these characters in order to make a buck. I know you want to make money. But establishing this brand, in a unique way, entertainingly and successfully, will mean that you can CONTINUE to make money on sequels, merchandise and spin-offs. Does Marvel have a plan to successfully continue their characters between and beyond Avengers? Absolutely. But that is what's working for THEM, for THEIR characters. Trying to emulate Marvel's business model will further cheapen your brand, and your audience will know it. They'll see Justice League, a movie based on one of the original superhero teams, and dismiss it as an Avengers ripoff almost immediately. You need someone who WANTS to make this into a movie, someone who, first and foremost, has a love and an understanding of what makes these characters tick, what makes them special. Making money and following your studio notes about why such-and-such doing such-and-such isn't marketable and being your paid bitch should not be qualities to look for in a writer or director. Story and character should come first to whomever you hire, and if it's good, like Whedon's Avengers, it will sell. Slavishly trying to replicate Marvel's success is going to look like a slavish replication of what Marvel has done, period.
If you make Justice League first, then make it able to stand on its own before licking your lips at all the money you can make on what comes after. Drop all the references and hints that you want, but adding those instead of story, dialogue and character development will not hold your movie together. You can ask Angela Bassett how well that Amanda Waller cameo worked out for her and get back to me, if need be.
Conclusion
If this movie ever gets off the ground, they'll probably fuck it up anyway. I think weighing in my two cents is probably not going to go anywhere except to (possibly) ingratiate myself with my fellow dorks. Even though I have strong opinions about what I would like to see done with this franchise, I can't imagine how insurmountable a task this must seem to any writer or director approached with the job. But at the same time, is it truly that difficult to make a film based on a long-beloved property that doesn't change things to piss off the fans and still have universal appeal? This is the Justice League, for fuck's sake! Almost everyone knows who Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman are! Let's leave the exposition for the comics that spawned this media and merchandising machine that the WB constantly profits from, and just make a damn fine movie to rival Avengers in scope and scale without tirelessly trying to top it, ape it, or outsell it, shall we?
Just give us a good, un-rushed Justice League, Warner Bros. Us geeks will continue to sort out which superheroes from which universes would win in a fight while you and Disney have your pissing contests over how big the box office is.
-Swift
So, in case anybody gives a shit, let me say that Justice League should NOT happen, unless they throw out EVERYTHING they've already done (which it looks like they have, so far), and go smaller. Not too small, mind you; this is a team of variously-powered god-like beings, and getting them together will take more than just a team-up of mob guys from Gotham and Intergang from Metropolis to stoke the fires of the superteam.
The following are my suggestions for how to get this whole shebang underway, WITHOUT blowing their load too early with intergalactic villainy or establishing a huge villain team-ups with too many characters. Whether or not they want to establish these heroes individually beforehand, like Marvel did, is moot.
1. Don't Use Darkseid
Darkseid is a great villain. He was created by Jack "King" Kirby, along with the rest of the Fourth World and the New Gods. Having said that, Darkseid is a horrible choice to throw into the mix for your first outing with the Justice League.
This is one of the main reasons the New 52 Relaunch of the Justice League was so terrible. Darkseid can have a polarizing effect on all our do-gooders, sure. But to blow your load with DC Comics' ultimate otherworldly baddie right out of the gate? Dumb. Fucking idiotically dumb, really. It's how I felt about using Parallax in Green Lantern: the reason Parallax was so powerful in the comics-- and why his retcon into being the living embodiment of fear that possessed Hal Jordan was so well-received-- was because it was a retcon that fit and redeemed a character who was pretty fucked over to begin with thanks to trends in the nineties. Parallax was an ok movie monster, but to undermine his importance to the current mythos and introduce him to moviegoers who don't give a flying fuck about comics was weak. Darkseid would face a similar problem. Most folks don't know who he is, and he would come off as pretty generic with no buildup to how much of a badass he is. Take into account that Darkseid is very similar to Marvel's Thanos, and you would merely confuse your audience and make them think you're ripping Marvel off, when they get to Thanos in the inevitable Avengers sequel(s).
Darkseid is a character that you need to build up to make a believable threat. If you were to use him right away, and your heroes somehow came together, never knowing each other before a 2, 2 1/2 hour runtime to defeat him, it would come off as forced and anticlimactic, at best. Ya know, just like that sixth issue of the New 52 Justice League. And story incongruousness aside, where the fuck would you go from there? Being the Baddest of the Bad amongst DC villainy, what would you do for a sequel, if your movie is successful?
There are plenty of other villains in DC's long history to play around with on screen. If you're going to use Darkseid, don't do it first. You risk putting the cart in front of the horse that way. Slowly build toward him, if you absolutely HAVE to use him, like they're doing with Thanos. Otherwise, let's leave him out of the equation, shall we?
2. Don't Use Joe Levitt As Batman
If you have any fucking sense at all, Warner Bros., you will keep Justice League's version of Batman far, far, FAR away from Christopher Nolan's vision of the Dark Knight. I understand that you want a familiar face for your audience, and I'm sure JGL would do great as the Caped Crusader, but here's the thing: this is Goddamned BATMAN we're talking about. Other than Superman and Spider-man, Batman is the most recognizable superhero in THE WORLD. We all know who he is and what his fucking deal is. Do not waste your money or your moviegoers time with re-establishing Batman's deal in this movie. Cast someone with the stature and physicality and whose chin looks flattering poking out of that cowl, and just give us fucking Batman kicking ass in Gotham and discovering the pending crisis that will bring our heroes together has come to his doorstep. Batman should be the first to catch on to whatever is going on and a reluctant participant in the team effort to stop it. We don't need to see Bruce Wayne in this movie at all, you hear? BATMAN is important to the Justice League, and the actor portraying him should not be seen without the mask, period.
3. Have A Decent Script
This should go without saying, but the fact that this project in various iterations has been floundering since AT LEAST 2007 does not instill confidence. You have to make sure the script is decent before you do ANYTHING else. No green-light, no casting, no costuming, no storyboards, NOTHING should be done until you have a script that isn't complete and utter shit.
There are plenty of (good) stories about the League's formation that a halfway decent scriptwriter can look at for inspiration that don't involve fucking Darkseid or our heroes acting like complete assholes (well, except Batman. Batman is allowed to be a dick, at least at first).
My suggestion? When JLA was launched in the late 90's, a version of Starro the Conquerer was used that had facehugger-like drones to enslave Earth's population. Something like this would be a great way to get the team together, without relying on an Apokalyptik threat like Darkseid.
Perhaps it would be best to show that Superman and Batman already know each other, or the camaraderie between Flash and Green Lantern. We don't have to show everyone meeting for the first time; history can be easily explained with several lines of dialogue. You'll save time building character relationships by showing that some team members already have friendships, or at least have met in the past. Even if you use only five characters, as the most recent reports said, you're going to have one hell of a time giving everyone something to do (let alone developing characters) without solo movies to establish figures like Wonder Woman, Aquaman and the Flash. So go light with the exposition on Superman and Batman, and have fun with the down-to-earth Flash and the culturally inept Aquaman and Wonder Woman. Don't beat us over the head with Supes and Bats shenanigans; your audience already knows who they are, and so should the characters in your movie. If you're going to do this shit backwards (i.e. the reverse of Marvel's model), give the other characters time to shine to drive up interest in the solo movies that can follow Justice League.
Oh, and please, for the love of Kirby, try to steer clear of those
4. Don't Try To Copy Marvel
I know you soulless corporate bastards want that Avengers money so bad you can taste it. But if you want to make money on it, you can't cheapen this brand or these characters in order to make a buck. I know you want to make money. But establishing this brand, in a unique way, entertainingly and successfully, will mean that you can CONTINUE to make money on sequels, merchandise and spin-offs. Does Marvel have a plan to successfully continue their characters between and beyond Avengers? Absolutely. But that is what's working for THEM, for THEIR characters. Trying to emulate Marvel's business model will further cheapen your brand, and your audience will know it. They'll see Justice League, a movie based on one of the original superhero teams, and dismiss it as an Avengers ripoff almost immediately. You need someone who WANTS to make this into a movie, someone who, first and foremost, has a love and an understanding of what makes these characters tick, what makes them special. Making money and following your studio notes about why such-and-such doing such-and-such isn't marketable and being your paid bitch should not be qualities to look for in a writer or director. Story and character should come first to whomever you hire, and if it's good, like Whedon's Avengers, it will sell. Slavishly trying to replicate Marvel's success is going to look like a slavish replication of what Marvel has done, period.
If you make Justice League first, then make it able to stand on its own before licking your lips at all the money you can make on what comes after. Drop all the references and hints that you want, but adding those instead of story, dialogue and character development will not hold your movie together. You can ask Angela Bassett how well that Amanda Waller cameo worked out for her and get back to me, if need be.
Conclusion
If this movie ever gets off the ground, they'll probably fuck it up anyway. I think weighing in my two cents is probably not going to go anywhere except to (possibly) ingratiate myself with my fellow dorks. Even though I have strong opinions about what I would like to see done with this franchise, I can't imagine how insurmountable a task this must seem to any writer or director approached with the job. But at the same time, is it truly that difficult to make a film based on a long-beloved property that doesn't change things to piss off the fans and still have universal appeal? This is the Justice League, for fuck's sake! Almost everyone knows who Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman are! Let's leave the exposition for the comics that spawned this media and merchandising machine that the WB constantly profits from, and just make a damn fine movie to rival Avengers in scope and scale without tirelessly trying to top it, ape it, or outsell it, shall we?
Just give us a good, un-rushed Justice League, Warner Bros. Us geeks will continue to sort out which superheroes from which universes would win in a fight while you and Disney have your pissing contests over how big the box office is.
-Swift
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
REVIEW: Play Arts Kai Arkham City Catwoman and Batman
Ah, yes, more Play Arts for me to get my tattooed bear paws on. Mwahahaha. I LOVE Arkham Asylum/Arkham City. These games are the greatest comic-to-game translation ever, and currently one of my favorite versions of the Batman Mythos period (even over Nolan's films). So getting great action figures of great designs is a bonus for me, at this point. Read on to see how well these two fare.
Catwoman
Catwoman's game design didn't stray too far from the modern look in the comics, which is a huge plus. She's had a variety of designs over the years, being one of Batman's oldest adversaries, some being very silly, while others were more cheesecake (not saying this one isn't, of course), but Darwyn Cooke's turn-of-the-century "catsuit" costume, to me, makes the most sense. And this take-off on it, while it definitely sexes her up more than a bit thanks to Square's Anime styling, is probably one of the best female figures ever.
The Good: The overall look is great. The seams and zippers, buckles and laces are all sculpted superbly and painted appropriately, with little slop that I can find. Her hands swap out easily, and the included "googles-down" head would be a huge bonus, if not for something I'll get to momentarily. And while the figure brings plenty of vampy va-va-va-voom to the table, this kitten's got claws. It's very nice that she has TWO sets of extra hands, making three sets altogether: relaxed, gripping, and claws out. She can pose down and go blow for blow with any of your PAK, or even catfight Harley like miAmego did on the Fwoosh boards. Her whip fits well in both hands, and is made of a fairly flexible plastic if you want to ensnare other figures.
The Bad: I love swappable accessories on my action figures. It gives dorks like me plenty of options for
Otherwise, the normal portrait has a dark airbrushing that's a little distracting. It looks like Selina's makeup is running, and it seems like a widespread problem. It's not as bad as Kratos or even the Joker, but it may bother some. Her joints are all great, save for the the clicky-joint on her left hip and her right shoulder is a tad loose. The hip doesn't seem to be a big problem, as the joint still functions properly, but I fear her shoulder may droop over time and as it gets used for posing.
Overall: Catwoman is the definite winner of these two. If you already have the AA Bats and are leery of spending another sixty buck on the AC version, do yourself a favor and at least pick up Selina. Again, one of, if not THE best female action figures I've ever owned. The constantly-improving PAK articulation scheme really shines here, and you can get her into plenty of poses that don't detract from the femininity of it being a woman character, and the exaggerated Anime proportions definitely help with that.
Batman
Bruce here has seen a lot of PAK love thus far, and that doesn't seem to be changing any time soon. I balked at another game-styled Batman at first, and then realized that not only was he significantly different, but that I'm a big enough dork for all things Batman to be suckered into buying him anyway. There are plenty of differences between this and the AA version, the most noticeable being his overall build and stature. He simply looks more imposing than AA Bats, and when placed next to each other, AC Bats is taller and wider in the shoulders.
The Good: Again, the stature and build are what really struck me on this figure. The upper body in particular looks much more like the game model. The bat emblem on his chest looks bolder than the AA, but still a little off from the game. The blue used on him, at first glance, seems the same as the AA Bats, but in better lighting there's a deep royal blue airbrushing going on that just makes him pop more. The cape sculpt is nice, but I have issues with it that I'll get to below.
His accessories we've seen before: The batclaw and a batarang. As far as I can tell, these are straight-up re-use from the original, as are his hands. The new accessory included, however, is a line for the batclaw that you can swap out and ensnare baddies (or Catwoman, I guess, if she's into that). The best accessory, to me, is the alternate portrait with a sort of snarling face. Normally, these sculpts can make it look like a toy is taking a shit. But this one is very well done. Just standing him on the shelf, posed cracking his knuckles, makes it look as if he's sizing up the rest of my collection and wondering who to hit first and exactly how hard. Bats poses pretty well, too, with some limitations, but looks great just standing there, ready to dole out some broken limbs to anyone stupid enough to fuck with the Goddamn Batman.
The Bad: The cape. The cape baffles me quite a bit. One of the great successes of the AA version, to me, was the clicky-joints that the cape was mounted on in two sections. The fact that this one is not only glued down but limits his articulation is a huge bummer. Yes, the plastic is pliable, but not nearly as much as I'd like. But the tradeoff is that the stiffer plastic can help balance Bats in a number of poses, and a softer material would have made that impossible, or at least exasperating when trying to get him to stand.
 |
| "I believe I can fly... I believe I can touch the sky..." |
 |
| "Fuck you." |
The extra head is a pain in the ass here, too; but unlike Selina, I can get my plyers in and pop the neck peg out to swap them, which is still something I'm not fond of doing. Good thing I like the angry head, I guess. Also, mine has some minor paint issues: several spots on the neutral head had either been worn off during assembly and packaging or simply weren't painted evenly to begin with, leaving dots of flesh-colored plastic showing.
While the color scheme has grown on me, it looks a little odd to see a blue and gray Batman without blue gloves and boots. The gauntlets and shin greaves are in a dark gunmetal with varying grays that make up the gloves and boots. So if you're looking for a more traditional looking Bats and the slightly shorter height on the AA doesn't bother you, this one may not be for you. Also, his build going down to the waist is a little strange. His lower torso tapers to the belt line, and then blows up to accommodate his huge legs. The proportions on the AA are a tad more realistic.
Overall: While I'm slightly disappointed, I still really like this Batman. The differences between AC and AA are enough for me to be satisfied with my purchase, even with the cape and swappable head issues. Since the AA Bats is going for $80 or more on the aftermarket, I'd say this is probably a smarter buy, especially if you happen to think like me that this one looks more badass, even with the posing limitations. Here's hoping the issues with both can be addressed in future releases (and hope that Square doesn't go the Hot Toys route in releasing new and improved versions of older figures twice every year), and if not, maybe they can send me extra neck pegs for both. But I doubt it.
Til next time, kids.
-Swift
Thursday, November 29, 2012
An Introduction, With Apprehension
The thought only occurred to me today that I could conceivably publish my novels, or each volume, in serials on this very site. I'm still not certain I want to do this; while I consider myself someone who takes (constructive) criticism well, if a little begrudgingly, self-doubt is wheeling around my head like some sort of impish, nagging apparition of angel and devil.
This story, in its many incarnations, has been with me for quite some time now. I have an idea for how it ends, but I've no idea when it ends, or what sort of undiscovered horrors may surface or resurface as the tale moves toward its end. I feel like it's time that I did something with this, simply because it has been so near and dear to me for so long, and the task has truly been enjoyable, if frustrating at times, as it has gone through variations and permutations to become what you will see in the days to come.
Allow me to address the character of Chris Bailey for a moment: In real life, Chris has been my best friend for the better part of twenty years. When ideas began to spring up in our teens, even before these characters came about, Chris was there. When this world that has evolved as I grew up was created, initially, the star of it was named Chris Bailey. While Chris the character still shares many traits with his real-life counterpart, believe me when I say that he's more of an homage to Chris than anything, and the character being named after my very close friend is for two main reasons: "Chris Bailey" is a pretty common name, but not something you hear all the time, which I think has a nice ring to it. Second, Chris has been with me and this story from the beginning, and I wouldn't feel quite right not giving him some sort of credit, and a "thanks, dawg!" just wouldn't be enough. His fictional counterpart is as important to this story and its telling as real-life Chris has been in its creation, inception, and just being honest with me when he thinks my ideas are dumb.
So what I'm really trying to say is, I hope you enjoy the nonsense that is about to be unleashed from my brain with Chris' help. And if you have any complaints or criticisms to offer:
It was Chris' idea.
Be here tomorrow for the first excerpt.
This story, in its many incarnations, has been with me for quite some time now. I have an idea for how it ends, but I've no idea when it ends, or what sort of undiscovered horrors may surface or resurface as the tale moves toward its end. I feel like it's time that I did something with this, simply because it has been so near and dear to me for so long, and the task has truly been enjoyable, if frustrating at times, as it has gone through variations and permutations to become what you will see in the days to come.
Allow me to address the character of Chris Bailey for a moment: In real life, Chris has been my best friend for the better part of twenty years. When ideas began to spring up in our teens, even before these characters came about, Chris was there. When this world that has evolved as I grew up was created, initially, the star of it was named Chris Bailey. While Chris the character still shares many traits with his real-life counterpart, believe me when I say that he's more of an homage to Chris than anything, and the character being named after my very close friend is for two main reasons: "Chris Bailey" is a pretty common name, but not something you hear all the time, which I think has a nice ring to it. Second, Chris has been with me and this story from the beginning, and I wouldn't feel quite right not giving him some sort of credit, and a "thanks, dawg!" just wouldn't be enough. His fictional counterpart is as important to this story and its telling as real-life Chris has been in its creation, inception, and just being honest with me when he thinks my ideas are dumb.
So what I'm really trying to say is, I hope you enjoy the nonsense that is about to be unleashed from my brain with Chris' help. And if you have any complaints or criticisms to offer:
It was Chris' idea.
Be here tomorrow for the first excerpt.
Monday, November 26, 2012
REVIEW: Play Arts KAI Devil May Cry 3 Dante and Vergil
Ah, winter is on the verge of making us all miserable. But with winter comes Christmas, and with Christmas comes toys. Not that these two are necessarily on any kids' Christmas lists this year, but I digress.
My first Play Arts purchase was a character I know and love from the Devil May Cry video game series, Dante. I was impressed with the scale and articulation on him even a couple years back, and if not for that "impulse" buy, I wouldn't have jumped on some of their future offerings this past year (like Batman) or sought out older ones from Square Enix (Nero, also from DMC4, and the ever-elusive and expensive-on-the-aftermarket Bayonetta and Ichigo). Overall, Dante and Nero are pretty impressive figures. How do Dante's younger self and his infinitely cooler, evil brother stack up now that Square Enix have had time to improve?
Pretty fucking well, actually.
I'll start with Vergil, my obvious favorite. When I first laid hands on DMC4 Dante, I wanted a Vergil. DMC3 is easily my favorite of the series (thus far, I should say; I have yet to play through DMC4 and I am a horrible person for not doing so), and Dante's twin with a mean streak and a giant katana deserves to be immortalized in plastic. It only took 'em seven years, but here he is, the bastard.
Every little detail from the game is present on his coat, painted nicely in most areas, though the paint is extremely light in some spots. I'm not sure if it's a sloppy paint job or a shitty white paint; if I had to guess I would say a little of both. It doesn't stand out much, really, unless you really get nosey. I'd say it's a pretty damn good paint job, and the airbrushing really brings out some of the sculpted textures even more. People have already complained about the overspray on the face, and I like it. It's not as extreme as the Joker's or even Kratos, but just enough of a dark color around the chin, jaw and cheekbones to bring out the features, and a very nice darkening around his eyes that gives him an appropriately sinister look.
I do have a problem with his face sculpt, though-- on mine it seems that something went wrong in assembly, and one side of his face is broader than the other. I tried to take a "before and after" shot of heating the head and trying to get the plastic to take on its original shape, and I'm not sure how well it worked. I think his head is more symmetrical now, but it could just be me.
The flaps of his coat, like Batman's cape, are on clicky ball hinges and give him a great range of posing options, especially if you're going for the "coat flapping in the wind" look that just... well, it looks fucking cool. There are three sections to his coat, and the side segments are sturdy, but softer plastic was used on the center part, so it droops. Why not use the same type of plastic for all three? With some futzing around you can prop the center part up with one or both of the sides, though.
Vergil includes two sets of hands, one set open for gesturing, and the other for holding his weapons. Both weapon hands, for some reason, have the index finger in the "trigger finger" position...
Oh, right, he used one of Dante's guns at the climax of the game. And man, was that picture a pain in the dick to get! Anyways... It was a cool moment, though it's a little head-scratching that they would make both hands able to hold Dante's guns for something that literally had two seconds of screen time in the game. His grip, as you can see, does not really suffer for having the trigger fingers out, which is great.
Vergil's weapons are both swords inherited from his father, Sparda. The first, and my favorite, is his giant katana, Yamato. Why he named it after a WWII-era battleship or any number of things that are just generic for "Japanese" when Sparda supposedly sealed the Demon Realm eons ago is irrelevant. What is relevant, is that they did a good job representing it in plastic and in scale with Vergil (historical katana are not almost as tall as their wielders). I have two nits, one minor and one not so minor: the first is the lack of a hamon, or a curving, uneven line toward the edge of the blade. This is mainly because I'm a sword dork, and Japanese swords are fucking artwork, that I know or care about this. But-- given that most simulated hamon look like shit, I'm glad they went without.
The second gripe is much larger. Either the packaging or the assembly process is responsible for this, and I think it's inexcusable, given how much these cost. Yamato's handle is bent, and not flush with the rest of the blade. This isn't instantly noticeable if you have him holding the sword, but it irks me and I'm getting more wary of their Quality Control, especially with prices continuing to go up and more of these figures on pre-order. I should mention the packaging, as well: they've forsaken the typical deep, tall window box and replaced it with a wide, flat box that has a velcro flap you have to open to see the figure and its accessories. While this looks nice, it's hardly an excuse for a price increase (most other Play Arts still run you $60-$65, these are going for $70), and while I love not fucking around with twist-ties like any other dork, the black plastic trays holding the figures in place are unforgiving and can lead to warped accessories if you're not careful removing them.
The other weapon is the key to the Demon Realm, the Force Edge, which is a fucking stupid name for a sword unless you're Japanese. It's thick and sturdy, and looks spot-on to the model in the game. I only just posed him with it when I started taking pictures for the review, and I do believe Verg will be a double-wielding badass on the shelf for a few days, at least.
Vergil is an absolute blast to pose and play with, and small touches like the soft plastic used for Yamato's ribbons and the fact that his skin tone is unsettlingly pale compared to Dante's really make him pop even more. If I had to only recommend one of these, it would be Vergil, hands-down. Not that his more famous brother is without his merits...
Dante has his shirtless look, and while this isn't my favorite design for him (my fav being his DMC4 look), it's executed very well here. His face sculpt is devoid of his trademark smirk, which is another thing that has bothered some but not me. In the context of the game, Dante is just starting his Demon-Hunting career, and while much of the game displays his cocky attitude, a more neutral or grim expression is appropriate, especially to have him face off against his brother on the shelf. His hair is in his eyes, which is again game accurate, and is a very stark white to contrast Vergil's, along with his healthier-looking skin tone. The grey wash or overspray is again present on his eyes, which I think they could have done without, but it doesn't look terrible.
Dante's signature red coat is on display here, and has a very glossy, shiny look to it, looking more like pleather than leather, but it also has a lot of nice details in the buttons, clasps and zippers, including a studded strap on his left shoulder. A HUGE plus of this Dante compared to his DMC4 predecessor are the holsters on his back for Ebony and Ivory, his two big semi-auto pistols. Now, I would argue that the placement of these holsters is hardly practical, but it's certainly on-model to the game and the guns fit snugly. And while it's nice to have holsters, the jacket segments stick out a bit from his ass, almost making it look like some weird man-bustle, and the two clicky ball joints on his torso under the coat just seem to make the holsters stick out more. Hrmph. Both Ebony and Ivory are detailed sculpts with detailed paint, and fit nicely in his hands, albeit a tad loose in some poses.
Another point he gains of the DMC4 version is the lack of pegs in his palms for his accessories. The pegs were nice several years back, as the hands weren't necessarily sculpted into a firm grip, but you had to fight with them sometimes, so pegless seems like a good call.
Dante only has one extra hand besides his trigger-fingered grasping pair, an open gesturing hand, which I assume is supposed to be used with Nevan, which I'll get to momentarily.
Dante comes with his signature sword, Rebellion, which is a huge broadsword that defies logic (as does much of the goings-on in the game). It has an intricate skull and ribs motif around the hilt, and a small hole about halfway up the hilt to house the peg that allows you to fit the blade on his back (like Kratos, Dante's weaponry magically adheres to his back when not in use). With DMC4 Dante, there were two pegs for his back: one that looked like a button on his coat, and another that acted as the post to hold the sword. His newer counterpart is not so fortunate: there is only a small, black peg (the perfect size and color for losing in my ugly black-and-orangey-red carpet) that doesn't fit very well into the hole in his back and falls off, A LOT, when posing him.The sword fits pretty well in either trigger-fingered hand, although the joints on his wrists like to droop under the blade's weight.
Also included is Nevan-- one of the bosses in the game is a topless vampire chick, who, when defeated, becomes a purple-demon-y-looking, lightning- and bat-powered guitar, which is either the dumbest thing about the game or the most awesome, depending on how you look at it. Nevan is well-sculpted, and has an "action feature," of a sort: pieces swing out and unfold into a sort of Grim Reaper-esque scythe. It's cool, I suppose, but I don't get all the love this weapon has seen. The Revoltech DMC3 Dante also included Nevan, and I would have preferred, in both instances, that they included other weapons from the game, namely Agni and Rudra.
Poseability, is, again, what you would expect from Play Arts. The only fault I can find with their continually-improving articulation schemes is that these new ratcheting hips are a little funky to deal with at first, moreso on Dante. He just feels spindly and liable to fall at the slightest touch. With the older ball joints, there was a really good, unrestricted range of motion, but nothing to stop them from sagging or splaying out over time if you happened to get a loose joint. With these, it seems they're trying to ensure that loose joints don't happen, but they can be a little frustrating until you get used to them. Also new to these two are mid-foot swivels, which are incredibly handy for when you want their feet to lie flat but can't get the heel to do so.
So, in summation:
The Good: These are fantastic toys. I honestly haven't stopped playng with them since they arrived. The scale is nice and shows off the detail, the poseability is off the charts, and the weapons, paint and accessories are well-done, despite some of my misgivings. If you can afford them and have the room, and are a huge DMC fan, I highly recommend at least Vergil.
The Bad: The price increase is NOT justified, especially considering the continuing QC issues Square Enix seems to be having. Maybe I got the bad luck of the draw here, but for $70 apiece I shouldn't have to do ANYTHING to these to make them better or deal with fucking weird QC issues. But if you get luckier than me, and can justify the price, they're well worth it, especially in Vergil's case, who's been begging to have an action figure made since DMC3 dropped over seven years ago.
Til next time, kids.
-Swift
My first Play Arts purchase was a character I know and love from the Devil May Cry video game series, Dante. I was impressed with the scale and articulation on him even a couple years back, and if not for that "impulse" buy, I wouldn't have jumped on some of their future offerings this past year (like Batman) or sought out older ones from Square Enix (Nero, also from DMC4, and the ever-elusive and expensive-on-the-aftermarket Bayonetta and Ichigo). Overall, Dante and Nero are pretty impressive figures. How do Dante's younger self and his infinitely cooler, evil brother stack up now that Square Enix have had time to improve?
Pretty fucking well, actually.
I'll start with Vergil, my obvious favorite. When I first laid hands on DMC4 Dante, I wanted a Vergil. DMC3 is easily my favorite of the series (thus far, I should say; I have yet to play through DMC4 and I am a horrible person for not doing so), and Dante's twin with a mean streak and a giant katana deserves to be immortalized in plastic. It only took 'em seven years, but here he is, the bastard.
Every little detail from the game is present on his coat, painted nicely in most areas, though the paint is extremely light in some spots. I'm not sure if it's a sloppy paint job or a shitty white paint; if I had to guess I would say a little of both. It doesn't stand out much, really, unless you really get nosey. I'd say it's a pretty damn good paint job, and the airbrushing really brings out some of the sculpted textures even more. People have already complained about the overspray on the face, and I like it. It's not as extreme as the Joker's or even Kratos, but just enough of a dark color around the chin, jaw and cheekbones to bring out the features, and a very nice darkening around his eyes that gives him an appropriately sinister look.
I do have a problem with his face sculpt, though-- on mine it seems that something went wrong in assembly, and one side of his face is broader than the other. I tried to take a "before and after" shot of heating the head and trying to get the plastic to take on its original shape, and I'm not sure how well it worked. I think his head is more symmetrical now, but it could just be me.
 |
| Before Heating & Re-shaping |
The flaps of his coat, like Batman's cape, are on clicky ball hinges and give him a great range of posing options, especially if you're going for the "coat flapping in the wind" look that just... well, it looks fucking cool. There are three sections to his coat, and the side segments are sturdy, but softer plastic was used on the center part, so it droops. Why not use the same type of plastic for all three? With some futzing around you can prop the center part up with one or both of the sides, though.
Vergil includes two sets of hands, one set open for gesturing, and the other for holding his weapons. Both weapon hands, for some reason, have the index finger in the "trigger finger" position...
 |
| JACKPOT! |
Oh, right, he used one of Dante's guns at the climax of the game. And man, was that picture a pain in the dick to get! Anyways... It was a cool moment, though it's a little head-scratching that they would make both hands able to hold Dante's guns for something that literally had two seconds of screen time in the game. His grip, as you can see, does not really suffer for having the trigger fingers out, which is great.
Vergil's weapons are both swords inherited from his father, Sparda. The first, and my favorite, is his giant katana, Yamato. Why he named it after a WWII-era battleship or any number of things that are just generic for "Japanese" when Sparda supposedly sealed the Demon Realm eons ago is irrelevant. What is relevant, is that they did a good job representing it in plastic and in scale with Vergil (historical katana are not almost as tall as their wielders). I have two nits, one minor and one not so minor: the first is the lack of a hamon, or a curving, uneven line toward the edge of the blade. This is mainly because I'm a sword dork, and Japanese swords are fucking artwork, that I know or care about this. But-- given that most simulated hamon look like shit, I'm glad they went without.
The second gripe is much larger. Either the packaging or the assembly process is responsible for this, and I think it's inexcusable, given how much these cost. Yamato's handle is bent, and not flush with the rest of the blade. This isn't instantly noticeable if you have him holding the sword, but it irks me and I'm getting more wary of their Quality Control, especially with prices continuing to go up and more of these figures on pre-order. I should mention the packaging, as well: they've forsaken the typical deep, tall window box and replaced it with a wide, flat box that has a velcro flap you have to open to see the figure and its accessories. While this looks nice, it's hardly an excuse for a price increase (most other Play Arts still run you $60-$65, these are going for $70), and while I love not fucking around with twist-ties like any other dork, the black plastic trays holding the figures in place are unforgiving and can lead to warped accessories if you're not careful removing them.
The other weapon is the key to the Demon Realm, the Force Edge, which is a fucking stupid name for a sword unless you're Japanese. It's thick and sturdy, and looks spot-on to the model in the game. I only just posed him with it when I started taking pictures for the review, and I do believe Verg will be a double-wielding badass on the shelf for a few days, at least.
Vergil is an absolute blast to pose and play with, and small touches like the soft plastic used for Yamato's ribbons and the fact that his skin tone is unsettlingly pale compared to Dante's really make him pop even more. If I had to only recommend one of these, it would be Vergil, hands-down. Not that his more famous brother is without his merits...
Dante has his shirtless look, and while this isn't my favorite design for him (my fav being his DMC4 look), it's executed very well here. His face sculpt is devoid of his trademark smirk, which is another thing that has bothered some but not me. In the context of the game, Dante is just starting his Demon-Hunting career, and while much of the game displays his cocky attitude, a more neutral or grim expression is appropriate, especially to have him face off against his brother on the shelf. His hair is in his eyes, which is again game accurate, and is a very stark white to contrast Vergil's, along with his healthier-looking skin tone. The grey wash or overspray is again present on his eyes, which I think they could have done without, but it doesn't look terrible.
Dante's signature red coat is on display here, and has a very glossy, shiny look to it, looking more like pleather than leather, but it also has a lot of nice details in the buttons, clasps and zippers, including a studded strap on his left shoulder. A HUGE plus of this Dante compared to his DMC4 predecessor are the holsters on his back for Ebony and Ivory, his two big semi-auto pistols. Now, I would argue that the placement of these holsters is hardly practical, but it's certainly on-model to the game and the guns fit snugly. And while it's nice to have holsters, the jacket segments stick out a bit from his ass, almost making it look like some weird man-bustle, and the two clicky ball joints on his torso under the coat just seem to make the holsters stick out more. Hrmph. Both Ebony and Ivory are detailed sculpts with detailed paint, and fit nicely in his hands, albeit a tad loose in some poses.
Another point he gains of the DMC4 version is the lack of pegs in his palms for his accessories. The pegs were nice several years back, as the hands weren't necessarily sculpted into a firm grip, but you had to fight with them sometimes, so pegless seems like a good call.
Dante only has one extra hand besides his trigger-fingered grasping pair, an open gesturing hand, which I assume is supposed to be used with Nevan, which I'll get to momentarily.
Dante comes with his signature sword, Rebellion, which is a huge broadsword that defies logic (as does much of the goings-on in the game). It has an intricate skull and ribs motif around the hilt, and a small hole about halfway up the hilt to house the peg that allows you to fit the blade on his back (like Kratos, Dante's weaponry magically adheres to his back when not in use). With DMC4 Dante, there were two pegs for his back: one that looked like a button on his coat, and another that acted as the post to hold the sword. His newer counterpart is not so fortunate: there is only a small, black peg (the perfect size and color for losing in my ugly black-and-orangey-red carpet) that doesn't fit very well into the hole in his back and falls off, A LOT, when posing him.The sword fits pretty well in either trigger-fingered hand, although the joints on his wrists like to droop under the blade's weight.
Also included is Nevan-- one of the bosses in the game is a topless vampire chick, who, when defeated, becomes a purple-demon-y-looking, lightning- and bat-powered guitar, which is either the dumbest thing about the game or the most awesome, depending on how you look at it. Nevan is well-sculpted, and has an "action feature," of a sort: pieces swing out and unfold into a sort of Grim Reaper-esque scythe. It's cool, I suppose, but I don't get all the love this weapon has seen. The Revoltech DMC3 Dante also included Nevan, and I would have preferred, in both instances, that they included other weapons from the game, namely Agni and Rudra.
Poseability, is, again, what you would expect from Play Arts. The only fault I can find with their continually-improving articulation schemes is that these new ratcheting hips are a little funky to deal with at first, moreso on Dante. He just feels spindly and liable to fall at the slightest touch. With the older ball joints, there was a really good, unrestricted range of motion, but nothing to stop them from sagging or splaying out over time if you happened to get a loose joint. With these, it seems they're trying to ensure that loose joints don't happen, but they can be a little frustrating until you get used to them. Also new to these two are mid-foot swivels, which are incredibly handy for when you want their feet to lie flat but can't get the heel to do so.
So, in summation:
The Good: These are fantastic toys. I honestly haven't stopped playng with them since they arrived. The scale is nice and shows off the detail, the poseability is off the charts, and the weapons, paint and accessories are well-done, despite some of my misgivings. If you can afford them and have the room, and are a huge DMC fan, I highly recommend at least Vergil.
The Bad: The price increase is NOT justified, especially considering the continuing QC issues Square Enix seems to be having. Maybe I got the bad luck of the draw here, but for $70 apiece I shouldn't have to do ANYTHING to these to make them better or deal with fucking weird QC issues. But if you get luckier than me, and can justify the price, they're well worth it, especially in Vergil's case, who's been begging to have an action figure made since DMC3 dropped over seven years ago.
Til next time, kids.
-Swift
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
People Are Still Stupid
So with all the dumbfuck political hubbub surrounding this election dying down, now we have the ignorant bellyaching portion of this race to contend with. It seems that people in twenty states have gotten together and petitioned the White House (on their website) to secede from the United States. There's a lot I could say about this from an atheist standpoint. There's a lot I could say from a liberal standpoint. But shall we approach this from the standpoint of realistic logic? Let's give it a go, shall we?
I get that you fucking morons are all butthurt that your magic-underpants-wearing criminal cocksucker didn't win. I get that most of you are too busy calling Obama "nagger" with your ignorant, lazy slacked jaws to come up with ONE significant reason why you think you no longer want to be part of this country. What I don't get, is how any of you idiots thought secession through for longer than two seconds and said, "Hey, this here's a great idear! A-hyuck!"
Do you have any idea what it would take to turn your state into a small country? That you would have to form your own system of government? That you would likely NOT receive the support of most of the people already in office, who have far too much at stake to start with a clean slate?
For the sake of argument, let's say you went through with this and your state officials all went along with it. You would still need to set up:
-Military
-Law Enforcement and Emergency Response Services
-Legislature for, well, EVERYTHING (including a new constitution/declaration of independence etc.)
-An import/export system for resources (which is doubtful, given that many of you twats either don't give a shit that jobs have been shipped overseas by people like Mitt "My god lives on planet Kolub" Romney and that you probably have very few resources that aren't already obtained from overseas by the rest of the country), which includes gasoline, electricity, consumer goods, and fresh water
-Currency (this one gets me the most. Say these people have money. Are they willing to spend it toward secession? I doubt it.)
I'm assuming many of you think Obama is a Muslim and that all our problems would be fixed if the rest of us heathens just gave our fate over to Jesus. Well guess what? By your logic, everything that happens is god's will. So if the election results are indicative of that, it means, at the very least, your god has abandoned you and you're doing something very, very wrong. Like judging people for their sexual orientation (not a choice) or their use of marijuana (which is a choice, but becoming a necessity to keep my wits and my calm undamaged in the face of ignorance).
Let me propose something to you: if you really believe we have lost our way, if you truly think this is not what your invisible man in the clouds wants for us, if you believe, with all your heart and mind, that there is a god and an afterlife that is better than this wonderful, beautiful planet we are lucky enough to experience with language, art, music, food, friends, family, love, television, movies, video games, cell phones, internet connections and founts of information at the touch of a finger-- just kill yourself and go meet this Jesus fella you're so fucking keen on. If we're wrong, you'll be able to gloat from the afterlife as the rest of us dwindle and descend into hell.
So fall on a knife, walk out into traffic, sit down on some railroad tracks. Drink some drain-o, jump off a cliff, let Jesus take the wheel on some abandoned stretch of highway when no other cars are around. Dive in the nearest body of water and take a nice lungful of it until your dumb bloated ass sinks to the bottom.
The world will be no poorer without you or your ignorant temper tantrums in it.
I get that you fucking morons are all butthurt that your magic-underpants-wearing criminal cocksucker didn't win. I get that most of you are too busy calling Obama "nagger" with your ignorant, lazy slacked jaws to come up with ONE significant reason why you think you no longer want to be part of this country. What I don't get, is how any of you idiots thought secession through for longer than two seconds and said, "Hey, this here's a great idear! A-hyuck!"
Do you have any idea what it would take to turn your state into a small country? That you would have to form your own system of government? That you would likely NOT receive the support of most of the people already in office, who have far too much at stake to start with a clean slate?
For the sake of argument, let's say you went through with this and your state officials all went along with it. You would still need to set up:
-Military
-Law Enforcement and Emergency Response Services
-Legislature for, well, EVERYTHING (including a new constitution/declaration of independence etc.)
-An import/export system for resources (which is doubtful, given that many of you twats either don't give a shit that jobs have been shipped overseas by people like Mitt "My god lives on planet Kolub" Romney and that you probably have very few resources that aren't already obtained from overseas by the rest of the country), which includes gasoline, electricity, consumer goods, and fresh water
-Currency (this one gets me the most. Say these people have money. Are they willing to spend it toward secession? I doubt it.)
I'm assuming many of you think Obama is a Muslim and that all our problems would be fixed if the rest of us heathens just gave our fate over to Jesus. Well guess what? By your logic, everything that happens is god's will. So if the election results are indicative of that, it means, at the very least, your god has abandoned you and you're doing something very, very wrong. Like judging people for their sexual orientation (not a choice) or their use of marijuana (which is a choice, but becoming a necessity to keep my wits and my calm undamaged in the face of ignorance).
Let me propose something to you: if you really believe we have lost our way, if you truly think this is not what your invisible man in the clouds wants for us, if you believe, with all your heart and mind, that there is a god and an afterlife that is better than this wonderful, beautiful planet we are lucky enough to experience with language, art, music, food, friends, family, love, television, movies, video games, cell phones, internet connections and founts of information at the touch of a finger-- just kill yourself and go meet this Jesus fella you're so fucking keen on. If we're wrong, you'll be able to gloat from the afterlife as the rest of us dwindle and descend into hell.
So fall on a knife, walk out into traffic, sit down on some railroad tracks. Drink some drain-o, jump off a cliff, let Jesus take the wheel on some abandoned stretch of highway when no other cars are around. Dive in the nearest body of water and take a nice lungful of it until your dumb bloated ass sinks to the bottom.
The world will be no poorer without you or your ignorant temper tantrums in it.
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