So, 'Broderick.' I understand you're more successful than ever. I hear that ratings on Family Feud have gone up twenty percent since you took over as host. I hear your radio show has over six million listeners.
But this is about your books. You know, the two relationship-advice books you've written, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man and Straight Talk, No Chaser. Now, as if the first book's title wasn't insulting and misogynistic enough, you happen to be a man who is on his third marriage giving people relationship advice.
That should be all I have to say, really. That it's taken you three tries to 'get it right,' and it remains to be seen if you'll get it right this time. You've been quoted as priding yourself on telling the 'truth.' What truth is that? That men are all cheating, piece-of-shit scumbags that have to be catered to, kowtowed to and coddled in order for a woman to keep them around? That women are all looking for someone to settle down and have children with as soon as possible?
Maybe the 'truth' is that a man isn't worth a woman's time unless he has a good relationship with his mama, not to mention a good relationship with gawd.
Broderick, I understand that your books are mostly aimed at a certain group: the six-inch-long nail and eighteen inches of fake hair crowd. You know, hoochie mamas. So you encourage these women to continue being vain, ignorant bitches who know that their place is at home, pumping out units, cooking, cleaning, and picking up the kids while you "profess, provide and protect?"
Fuck that.
Doesn't our culture do enough damage by indoctrinating girls into the whole cult of prettier-than-thou at an early age without your bald, mustached visage compounding matters? Do you even realize the damage you do by encouraging this sort of bigoted, chauvinistic viewpoint on Oprah and every morning on your radio show? Do you even care?
Never mind that some of these women want careers for themselves or to be able to support themselves without a man, or that children aren't in their plans at all. Or that they might want a relationship with a woman. It's all about keeping these women in line just like your bible says you ought to. So because you hide behind your religion with its outmoded ideas it makes the fact that you're being a complete bigot to the opposite sex okay, huh?
Maybe you're just cashing in on people's ignorance. On some level, if that were true, I might respect you a bit. But I really think you've bought into your entire line of bullshit to the point where you really think you're qualified to give women advice about how to "Find, Keep, and Understand a Man." Maybe I shouldn't care that you're just propagating a way of life that's been going on in our culture for generations.
And I suppose you're not the only one guilty of this. Look at these Duggar people and their nineteen kids: Religion strikes again. But even with their television show, I'm inclined to think people find them a little bit crazy. But you, Broderick? You're mainstream. You starred in a Spike Lee documentary! Any advice you give can't be bad, regardless of whether it continues to set gender relations back hundreds of years, right?
So I guess these books you write and their popularity isn't so much the cause of a greater disease but merely a symptom. Optimistically, I'd like to think our society has moved past so much of this nonsense about ancient texts being able to tell people how to live their lives, but then Act Like a Lady and its sequel come along and remind me that we have a long way to go.
Hell, the title of the first book alone should be enough to tell an intelligent, independent woman in the twenty-first century that they don't want to buy what you're selling, but almost two years on best-sellers' lists say otherwise.
Ladies, this is my plea to you: stop letting other people, specifically men (and men who decide to be relationship gurus after less than four years in their third marriage), tell you what you ought to be looking for. Stop letting society tell you how you should act, what you should wear, how you should think, and how much weight you could stand to lose, for fuck's sake.
Women still have it hard enough without caving in to pressure from bald assholes like Broderick who are just making a quick buck off of ignorance and stupidity, all the while hiding behind their 'experience' and their belief in an invisible bully to tell you your place.
Figure out, for yourself, what you want out of life. If any of that falls into the whole 'married with kids' thing, fine. Just so long as you wanted it for yourself and not because gawd told you your place was in the kitchen between pumping out children.
-Swift
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